Our Friends

Most of you are familiar with the couple in this picture. We have been friends with them from practically the first day we arrived here in Karamay and we found out they got pregnant last January. After a very good nine months and a birth without complications they became proud parents of a healthy son last September. I think we've told this story to most of you and even shown a few pictures so because of that we would like to share some news and ask for your thoughts. Doctors had noticed a few days after delivery that the baby had a calcium deficiency, something they corrected with medication. They had been living back at their house for the past 3 weeks, enjoying the rigors of parenthood until Tuesday of last week. We haven't talked to them personally, so all of this is hearsay, but our friends have informed us that they found the baby also had a deficiency of vitamin K. We had no clue what that meant until Tiff looked it up and found out that not only was this a life-threatening situation for the young baby, it is also something that is common and easily preventable if caught in time. Unfortunately the hospitals here are not capable of handling major emergencies such as these, so upon finding out that their baby was having a medical emergency, our friends had to take a 3-4 hour bus or taxi to the capital city to get proper treatment! Since Tuesday nobody has been able to contact either of them by their cell phones or by family who might have gone along with them. We're obviously worried for their sakes and would love for any and all of you to send up some special "thoughts" on their behalf. Our hope is that He can use this whole situation for good somehow.

This current event has brought to light for us a few truths about where we're living that we wanted to share with you. The first and scariest is the state of the health care where we're living. Any emergency is directed straight to the capital, and with no medivac or regular flights from Karamay to Urumqi, that journey as we said before can take no less than 3 hours - and that's if you're lucky. This proves two things for us: 1) we're having to put a lot of faith in the protective power of our Creator considering our health scare last August and 2) you will under no circumstances hear of us considering starting a family in China. Not an option!

The second thing we began to realize is just how emotionally different the Chinese are from the Western world where we were raised. I can imagine this same emergency scenario occurring at our home fellowship and I know that within an hour many people would not only know what was happening, they would be constantly updated. Many people might chalk that up to the power of gossip in our culture, but I completely disagree. I think that we have a desire to openly share in the pain of our companions and in that way we feel that we are doing our part as a friend to comfort them. We show our love to our family and friends by visiting them and sending them flowers during a difficult health situation. In China - or at least where we are - it is a bit different. Here emotion is something to be suppressed. This doesn't mean that their way of dealing with tragedy is worse than ours, just unique. Put yourself in China now and imagine any sort of tragedy. Instead of contacting you, many of your friends will leave you alone to allow you to grieve by yourself. Instead of calling friends to find comfort, you turn off your phone to take away all distractions. Rather than busy yourself to forget any tragedy or loss, you take off from work and lock yourself in your apartment, cutting off all communications for a couple weeks. With this in mind I hope it's easy to see how cross-cultural misunderstandings occur. If you're American, a Chinese person not calling you in your time of crisis seems to you to be an abandonment of friendship in your hour of need. If you're a Chinese, an American incessantly calling you and wanting to share your grief is embarrassing. Both persons are being friends in their own culture and yet both have misunderstood intentions. Our desire is that somehow we can not only make our loving intentions clear to Heidi and Sam, but that no matter the outcome of this situation we can witness His hand produce a change, or perhaps a softening of their hearts towards Him. Many times it seems like suffering has an uncanny ability to open the window of a dark room, allowing its lonely occupant the brief opportunity to look beyond its present struggles.

We are asking that you please join us in our desire to see not only a physical miracle in this baby, but just as importantly the miracle of watching a small window opening, a window that we can use as an opportunity with our friends. I can think of very few things that could powerfully demonstrate our love to our friends than telling them of all the thoughts that went up on their behalf both here in China and back in America. Suffering is universally felt in all cultures - but then again so is love.