A Chinese Wedding

Today we attended what is officially our second wedding while living here in China.  Thankfully we have plenty of good stories to share about that, but before we do, we'd love to get you up to speed on what's going on over here. The first and most disturbing news of this week is the fact that Josh's bicycle was stolen yesterday. The number of bikes stolen from foreigners since 2006? The count is now at 4! Kyle and Susan have had three bikes stolen, all in broad daylight while locked outside. Josh's was presumably safe in the basement of the apartment building, but when he went to take it to school he found that instead he would have to briskly walk that morning. Although the loss isn't catastrophic, it does shed light on one of the few crimes that actually occur around us. Don't worry, though - we still feel perfectly safe. Tiff had a parent's day on Friday which proved to be a nightmare to teach. Children are reared in a way that is foreign to most Westerners, a way which leads children whose parents are at school with them not to behave their best but rather to become completely unruly knowing that with their parents there, rarely will punishment be given. It's a sad state of affairs, but thankfully that day is over for her and a new - "parent-less" - week lies ahead.

So now onto the Chinese wedding! How we wish all of you could experience this kind of wedding - ha! First we would like to say that most everything about a Chinese wedding is completely opposite that of America. The root of most of those differences lies in this simple truth: in the west a wedding is meant to be beautiful and to bring honor to the bride (regardless of it being secular or religious); a Chinese wedding is a large party whose laughs are many times made at the expense of the bride, groom, or immediate family. An example of such a laugh is when they took the the grooms parents aside, dressed them in silly hats, put clown make-up all over their face and forced them to give toasts to all of the camera-wielding attendants. Our friend Rose explained to us how one of the games she and her husband had to play at her wedding forced them to blow flour into each others faces to find some "gift" in the bowl, for the purpose (and to her disappointment) of making her hair and wedding dress completely white.

The focal point of most weddings is the food. No wedding would be complete unless every table was so full of food that dishes were literally piled on top of each other. We ate every imaginable Chinese food except for those which we really enjoy eating - fish on a platter, spicy meat, spicy noodles, spicy this, spicy that, and our favorite - turtle soup with an actual turtle floating inside. We had this before last year which made it a little easier to stomach seeing a turtle seemingly swimming around in the soup you just poured in your bowl (don't worry, he was dead). To be honest, the soup isn't too bad and the turtle shell, although squishy when cooked, isn't horrible. Surprisingly all the food smells very good - if you could only stop smelling all of the cigarette smoke and the jet fuel they call "white wine" being inhaled or consumed by everybody around you.

And now to the icing on the cake - the performances. First, let me back up by saying that when we had our wedding in Dallas we invited a guest from India who was married to one of Tiff's dad's co-workers. She had never seen an American wedding, was quite anxious to go and we were more than happy to have her there. Here we were in a similar situation - invited to a wedding for a couple whom we had never met (Tiff works with the groom's mother) - and instead of being asked to sit, eat and enjoy, we were asked to perform! I doubt our guest from India would have been so eager to join our nuptials if she knew she had to perform in front of a large crowd of Americans. We politely declined any sort of performance - we frankly didn't have enough time to get one together - but Josh was duped into making a "toast" anyway. With a few memorized Chinese lines and the confidence of a three-legged lion he did his duty on behalf of the four foreigners attending the wedding, wishing them 100 years of marriage and telling the bride that he hopes she gets pregnant soon. Really, that's what they told him to say. Thankfully Josh didn't have to follow the next few acts, one of which you can see in the video below. At this point any and all attendants can sing karaoke or dance as entertainment until everybody is either sufficiently drunk or pressed to leave.

We were the latter of the two, thankfully - save the jet fuel for the airplanes! Kyle had a class which he had to teach later today so we left, but not before saying goodbye and thank you to the groom's parents who had to be fetched from a room where they were recovering from their many toasts which had left them a bit...well...tipsy.

All things considered we do actually enjoy the entertainment that is a Chinese wedding, but we long to again attend a wedding where we can look at each other as we leave and be reminded of the beauty and sanctity of marriage. We're working on our third year of marriage here in China - as a matter of fact we have now spent more of our lives together out of the U.S. than in it - and although many still consider us "newlyweds" we're still in need of a reminder every now and then. We both believe that such personal reflection was exactly what was intended when the institution of marriage was first created and we both look forward to that other wedding, the wedding of the Creator and the created, and know that somehow, much more than any American or Chinese wedding, it will be both infinitely meaningful and absolutely entertaining.

A Chinese Baby Shower (& Piñata)

A baby shower in China?  For most people here, that is a new phenomenon so if you're planning on throwing a party, realize that it might be the first they've one they've ever been to.  Always one to venture into the world of the new and unknown, my wife wanted to throw a baby shower for all our friends that are pregnant this year, which turns out to be five. Because this year is the year of the pig, a very lucky animal in the eyes of most Chinese, many people want to get married or have a baby during this time. So, naturally, we threw a party for them.

Most of the Chinese could not understand why you would throw a party before the baby is born, but since it is an American "tradition" they were more than happy to go along. Tiff did a wonderful job getting together games, prizes, food, and even a piñata! As party favors Tiff gave home-made flowers and small home-made bags to some of the ladies - it was quite the crafty party!  While most people in America give gifts to the mom during the baby shower, we are going to wait until after the baby is born, as is custom here in China.

The funny part was trying to make a piñata...oh you would have laughed if you could have seen us! Our first attempt at gluing the newspaper to the balloon was halted when the it suddenly popped, causing Tiff to scream and scaring the all the loose cat fur off of Romeo. Once we were able to clean ourselves of all the water/flour paste that had sprayed on our clothes and in our hair when the balloon burst, we began again, this time much more successfully. So, as you see here, we added some pink construction paper to form our pig, filled it with good Chinese candy and then beat it to death. Too much fun.

What's more fun is watching them try to hit the pinata.  Definitely a new and exciting experience for all of these women!