Last weekend my wife and I attended another Chinese wedding of a co-worker who was getting married to a local fireman. It was a beautiful wedding held in a hotel banquet hall and we were happy to attend. Everything progressed in the same manner as most every modern Chinese wedding we have seen, except for one thing: the vows.
I say "vows" for lack of a better word. In a Chinese wedding I have yet to see vows performed as one would expect in a western wedding. In other words, there is no repeating "for better or worse, in sickness or in health" etc., etc.. What I'm talking about here at a Chinese wedding could also be called a "declaration of love". The couple turns to face each other and are given an opportunity to say whatever the heck they want, and they usually don't memorize set lines. It's more of an improv, and this man's particular wedding vow surprised me.
"I love you. I can't wait to spend my life with you. I would like for you to bear a child as soon as possible. I want a boy."
Now I don't doubt this man loves his new wife, but don't you think that's a bit forward? As icing on the cake, his mother came up on stage later as the parents usually do and was asked if she wanted to say anything. "I would like to have grandchildren soon." Do you want a boy or a girl? "Both," she said. Talk about pressure on the newlywed bride!
Seeing stuff like this just reinforces my belief that Xinjiang's current gender balance won't last long.
6 Comments:
My Chinese wedding, and my coworker's, both had western vows. I think the word eternity was used in my wife and I's vows. The "declaration" I made at the registry office is another story.
No vows that I remember at my wedding in Urumqi--it was all in Chinese and I'm sure what was being said.
I do remember having to read a statement in Chinese at the marriage registry office claiming that my wife and I were not related in any way for at least two generations. My wife had to tell me what to say because I only knew about 25% of the characters.
Wow, asking for a boy is, to me, over the line. With the predominance of male kids in China you'd think he'd know this, but maybe this does not apply to Xinjiang.
As for having kids, this, like marriage, is a given in China. Chinese couples do not even think they have a choice. There are interesting cultural rituals done in some parts of China, like sewing in peanuts into the blankets of newlyweds, because peanut has the character "sheng", which means to give birth (to a son/daughter). Possibly hokey but true. The couple may even go to a Buddhist temple to pray for fertility.
No vows, no worries... if comparative marriage break ups are anything to go by.
i search for great affice for marry
i search for great affice for marry
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